


Heaven is a Place on Earth

by sugdingles



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Black Mirror Episode: s03e04 San Junipero, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emmerdale Big Bang, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:48:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21736315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugdingles/pseuds/sugdingles
Summary: Aaron meets Robert in San Junipero in 1987. How will their relationship progress and is everything really as it seems? Black Mirror AU.
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 19
Kudos: 68
Collections: Emmerdale Big Bang Round 3 2019





	Heaven is a Place on Earth

Waves lap against the shore as the lights twinkle along the coastline and the pale, silvery moonlight shimmers across the water. It’s 1987, it’s Saturday night and the small but vibrant party town of San Junipero is starting to come alive.

Nightclubs and bars line the main street, their entrances illuminated by the warm, orange glow of the streetlights and the neon signs above. Cars drift up and down the street as it steadily begins to fill with people.

Aaron Dingle nervously walks along Barker Street. He’s never been here before and it shows. Like a tourist, he takes in the sights: the cinema just ahead of him with a poster for _Lethal Weapon_ staring down at him; the couples walking hand in hand along the pavement; the car which pulls up beside him blasting _Heaven is a Place on Earth_ at the highest possible volume, making him jump out of his skin. Everything in San Junipero is overwhelming, from the bright colours to the loud noises. Aaron shrinks into himself, having second thoughts about choosing to visit here.

He watches as a guy wearing the most garish shirt he’s ever seen jumps out of a blue Chevrolet El Camino and enters the burger place next to him with its bright red and white tiled exterior. As the door swings open, he’s hit with the smell of the patties sizzling on the grill and the chips in the deep fat fryer. It smells good but he keeps walking, passing more brightly dressed revellers as he goes. Because Aaron isn’t here to observe, to look on as life goes on around him. He’s had a lifetime of that already. Tonight is about living and experiencing, so he walks on, burying his doubt.

Aaron is glad to be wearing his plain black jumper, black puffy jacket and dark jeans so as not to stand out. Being from a small, rural village he’s not used to this many people in such close proximity. This is almost an entirely new experience for him, and he feels like a fish out of water, struggling to breathe. Everything is so much all at once and it’s like an attack on his senses. He wants to be free, to finally stop worrying about what other people of him, and to try and _enjoy_ himself. Overwhelmed, he digs his hands further into his pockets and keeps on walking.

As he continues, he passes an electrical shop. He peers into the window and watches the news report broadcasting on one of the TV’s. He can’t hear it, but the newsreader introduces a clip of Margaret Thatcher winning the general election. He watches for a moment until his attention is snatched away by a nearby voice.

“Robert, come on…”

Aaron turns around. He sees a couple striding along the road. At least he thinks they’re a couple. The woman has dark, permed hair in a half up-do. She’s pretty, with quite delicate features and a thin top lip. She’s got large turquoise hoop earrings and is wearing a black leather skirt and striped top with a studded denim jacket. A string of fake pearls dangle from her neck. She scurries eagerly after a tall blond man in a pale blue shirt, jeans and a well-worn leather jacket.

He’s taken aback at how striking he is – this guy, whoever he is, is probably the best-looking man he’s ever laid eyes on. Intriguing and attractive, with a distinct air of confidence about him.

“Robert,”

“I’m still walking Donna,” he replies, one step ahead of her.

“We only have a few hours, you know, so let’s use it-”

“I _am_ using it,” he said nonchalantly as they push past the small crowd and make their way into a bar called Tucker’s on the street corner, the pale neon sign glowing in the darkness.

Aaron stares after them for just a moment before he gingerly approaches and pushes the door open. The bar is cavernous - all tiles, chrome and exposed brickwork with neon lights. There’s a large bar in the middle next to the dancefloor which is full of people dancing to the music blasting from a sound system. Everyone looks like an extra from a John Hughes film or like they’d stepped out of an episode of Dynasty, every possible 80’s stereotype you could imagine.

He scans the bar, hoping to catch sight of the couple but there’s no sign of them. He walks down some steps and past the jukebox but still nothing. Aaron starts to feel slightly claustrophobic as swathes of people in pastels, boxy blazers and double denim dance around him, colourful cocktails in hand. The final straw comes when a girl, dressed like a secretary in a ruched pencil skirt and silver lamé blouse, starts grinding behind him. In an effort to get some space, he keeps walking until he reaches a secluded area off to the side under a blue and pink neon archway.

This little nook of the bar is fairly small but spacious enough. Arcade cabinets line the walls. There’s _Pac Man, Tetris_ , _Rolling Thunder_ , _Top Speed_ and _Double Dragon_ to name but a few. There are a couple of people perched on stools as they play but it’s considerably quieter than the hustle and bustle of the main bar area and so Aaron decides to hang around here for a bit of breathing space. Its solitary nature helps ease him into his new surroundings; he’s always been more comfortable on his own.

Aaron is inexplicably drawn to _Bubble Bobble_. He reckons a part of him must find the little cartoon dragons squirting bubbles cute. He reaches into his pocket for some change and drops a coin into the slot then hits 1-player mode. A black starlit backdrop appears on the game screen followed by two cartoon dragons and a whirlwind of bubbles as catchy 8-bit music plays. Before the game starts, a message flashes across the screen:

_NOW, IT IS THE BEGINNING OF A FANTASTIC STORY!! LET’S MAKE A JOURNEY TO THE CAVE OF MONSTERS. GOOD LUCK!_

The game begins and Aaron quickly settles into it. He knows what he’s doing.

After a few rounds, out of the corner of his eye Aaron spots a nerdy-looking guy trying to approach him. He’s got black thick-rimmed glasses and is wearing a patterned, short-sleeved shirt in pastel tones concealed under a bomber jacket. He’s not entirely unattractive but he seems to radiate awkwardness with a hint of desperation. He’s holding a drink with a paper umbrella and straw which he seems ill at ease with, and the liquid sloshes around the glass as he nods his head in time to the music, badly.

“You’re good at this,” he says, wrinkling his nose slightly and pushing his glasses up his nose.

Aaron doesn’t bother to look up.

“I’ve played it before.”

The guy tries to think of something to say.

“It’s got different endings depending on whether you’re in one or two player mode. Oh, erm, I’m Finn by the way,” he stutters, holding out a hand.

Aaron doesn’t respond, doesn’t even look at the guy and continues to focus on the game. Finn tries to think of a follow up.

“You know, it’s actually the first game to do that,” Finn says, completely oblivious as Aaron continues to ignore him.

“Shit!” Aaron exclaims as he loses his last life, so Finn changes tack and tries to interest him in a different game.

“Ummm, d’you… want to play this one?”

Aaron turns and looks at the game Finn is talking about. He stands frozen to the spot as he reads the name on the cabinet: _Punch-Out!!_

Finn loads up the game and Aaron stares at the screen for a moment, clearly disturbed. He watches the cartoon boxer Glass Joe skirt around the ring and winces as Finn controls the avatar to throw punch after punch. _Left-right-left-right-left-right-left-right_ emanates from the machine over the 8-bit music. Aaron’s head swims. Flashes of skin, bloodied and bruised come back to him. The arcade noises dulls and all he can hear is the white noise of his own head. He didn’t want to, his hands hadn’t been his own… he’d just wanted everything to stop. All of it…

It doesn’t take long before he’s back in the room again.

“Hellooooo?” Finn waves in his face. “D’you want a go or not?”

Aaron snaps at this.

“No! Look, I’m not interested mate, alright? Now just leave me alone,” he spits out before storming off.

“Okay then. See you around,” Finn says to himself, as he watches Aaron leave.

After a few minutes his breathing has returned to normal but when he looks up, he spots something in the distance which sends him spiralling again. Over in the opposite corner of the bar, he sees a young gay couple kissing. He watches as the one on the left, with his bouffant hair and biker jacket, pulls the other one closer by the lapels of his blazer. Panic grows in Aaron’s chest as their kiss deepens, both so wrapped up in each other that they’re not paying any attention to their surroundings. And around them, no-one seems to bat an eyelid. Nothing seems out of the ordinary to them. Aaron envies how carefree they seem, and his old friend self-loathing rears its ugly head again, clouding his view.

As he frantically tries to find the exit, he’s blocked at every turn. The bar is filling at a rapid pace and there’s no escaping. In the end, he spots a small opening at the bar and decides to buy himself a drink to calm his nerves. He downs a whisky, wincing as the taste burns in his mouth before buying himself a pint and sliding into an empty booth. Despite how busy the bar is, most people are still up dancing and so there’s plenty of room. He takes a look around, drinking in his surroundings and watching everyone coming and going. T’Pau is playing faintly in the background but he can barely hear it over the noise of all the people. He notices how there’s a real mix of people in the bar – punks, goths, preppy kids and jocks.

Out of nowhere the blonde guy walks past and suddenly spots something in the distance. He rolls his eyes, does a 180 and approaches the booth. Aaron quickly diverts his gaze but is taken aback when the stranger proceeds to sit down right next to him. Aaron just stares at him, completely astounded.

“Just go along with whatever I say,” he whispers.

“What?”

“Whatever I say, just go along with it.”

“Eh? No chance, ” he sneers as he turns his back to the guy and makes to leave. His back is already up after everything earlier and he’s just about had enough. But before Aaron can move to get up, the guy has got his hand curled around his left bicep. It takes Aaron by surprise – the physical contact has completely thrown him and he’s not quite sure how to act. But before he knows it the same girl from outside approaches the table. Just as she opens her mouth to speak, the blonde guy cuts her off.

“Ok Donna, now you’re just pestering me,” he says, slightly exasperated.

She makes a show of checking her watch before replying and fluttering her eyelashes.

“2 hours and 35 minutes. There’s not much time left.”

“Donna…”

“Last week, we had the most amazing-”

“Last week was last week,” he responds in a matter-of-fact way. He indicates to Aaron before continuing. “I need to talk to my mate here, yeah? I haven’t seen him in a while.”

He casually throws his arm around Aaron, who is surprised and somewhat irritated by this turn of events, but he manages to muster a faint smile at Donna watches on.

“Donna, he’s ill. Seriously ill. He’s only got six months to live.”

Aaron interjects: “Five actually.”

The guy turns to look at him, clearly amused but impressed (and quite possibly, turned on). The thought momentarily cross his face but he quickly hides this before turning back to Donna.

“I need to have a catch up with him. In private.”

She considers it for a moment before finally admitting defeat.

“Okay,” she pouts slightly before standing up. She turns to Aaron. “I’m really sorry.”

“That’s okay,” he replies quietly.

She looks back to the blonde guy and says: “I guess I’ll see you around then.”

They both watch as she turns and walks away as Aaron snorts and the other man breathes out a sigh of relief. He looks at Aaron again.

“I’m sorry for killing you by the way. The whole six months to live thing. Sorry. Five.” He corrects himself, letting out a small laugh. “That was a nice touch, I’m impressed.”

It’s Aaron’s turn to laugh now. “Thanks.”

“I’m Robert by the way,” he says, holding out his hand. “Robert Sugden.”

“Aaron Dingle,” he replies as he takes Robert’s hand. The touch lasts a moment too long as they look at each other again. All of a sudden, Aaron feels slightly too hot under Robert’s gaze.

“Aaron,” Robert repeats back, rolling the ‘r’ for effect, almost inquisitively. Now they’re sitting next to each other, Aaron takes a closer look at the other man’s face. He sees the smattering of freckles across his nose and cheeks. His golden skin and chiselled jaw. Aaron thinks back to earlier – he’s definitely the fittest bloke he’s ever seen. And the way he just said his name has turned his insides to jelly.

He snaps out of it as Robert points a thumb in Donna’s direction. “She’s alright you know. I kinda feel bad. I met her at the Quagmire, so…”

“What’s the Quagmire?” Aaron asks.

Robert stares back, clearly finding his innocence rather endearing. He shoots Aaron a knowing smile.

“If you don’t already know what the Quagmire is, then you probably don’t want to know. Fancy another?” he indicates at Aaron’s empty pint glass.

“I don’t know…”

“Yeah, you do. Come on.”

He stands and offers his hand. Aaron hesitates for a moment and stares at Robert’s outstretched hand, biting his lip. _Him, this, everything, it’s all within reaching distance now_. He wouldn’t normally do this. He’d normally just turn him down, make his excuses and leave at this point, too scared to let things go any further. But then again, it’s not every day a jaw droppingly gorgeous man asks him for a drink is it?

They slide onto two worn leather bar stools and Aaron sits and observes as Robert tries to catch the attention of the raven-haired barmaid in an emerald mini dress with pouffy sleeves. He looks at the large _Tucker’s_ sign hanging on the wall of glass bricks behind the bar, depicting green palm trees either side of a stretch of road encapsulated in a pink circle. Shelves of different liquors frame either side of the sign, the neon lights emanating a faint glow. But Aaron quickly gets distracted by Robert’s side profile as he leans across the bar, eyes exploring every inch of his freckled face available.

“Two pints please, Alicia.”

Aaron quickly diverts his gaze to his hands, not wanting Robert to know he was just staring at him. Robert turns his attentions back to Aaron. He can’t deal with the intensity with which he’s looking at him and so makes a feeble attempt to fill the silence.

“So… erm, have you-you been here before?” Aaron queries, hesitantly.

“Maybe once or twice.” Robert’s not making things any easier. He knows exactly what he’s doing, knows exactly how to make Aaron squirm.

Aaron doesn’t know what to say next. He feels awkward with it. He’s never been any good at small talk and especially not with someone as attractive as Robert. It’s almost like looking directly at the sun. Instead, he looks over and watches as Alicia pours their drinks, beer slowly filling the glass.

When he looks back, he notices Robert slowly drags his gaze up and down him, taking all of him in. Aaron feels hot again.

“What you doing?” he asks accusingly.

“What? Am I not allowed to look?” replies Robert.

“Feels like you’re trying to analyse me or something.”

“Everyone here has a story. We’re all here in San Junipero for a reason,” he says enigmatically.

With that their eyes meet and there’s a glint of something in Robert’s eye. Aaron can’t quite make it out though and he’s left wondering if Robert’s words had a deeper meaning. And just like that, as if he realised what Aaron was thinking, Robert quickly changes the subject.

“What’s with all the black then?” Robert says, indicating at Aaron’s clothes.

“Nothing, I suppose. If you’re going to a funeral.” Aaron’s face drops and Robert can tell he’s hit a nerve.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. Bit of a default setting for me – being a smart aleck. You look great. Really.”

Aaron softens slightly.

“I guess what I was trying to say is, I bet you don’t look bad in a suit.”

He winks at Aaron before turning to Alicia and passing her money as she places their pints on the bar.

“But honestly, look around. People try so hard to look how they think they should look.”

Aaron looks more closely at the clientele. He sees swathes of denim jackets, shoulder pads and terrible hair. They really do look like they’re trying too hard.

“Looks they probably saw in some film. But this,” he says, indicating to Aaron’s outfit and passing him one of the pints, “This I like. It feels authentically you.”

Aaron feels shy but he feels like Robert is truly being sincere. They cheers and clink glasses before Aaron goes to take a sip and almost chokes. He still feels flustered. Robert checks he’s not going to cough up a lung and changes the subject again.

“So, do you live here then?”

“Erm, no, but…”

“Oh, a tourist?” Robert interjects. Aaron gives him a non-committal shrug, not quite knowing what to say.

“Okay, tourist it is. I’m guessing you’re new then? Because I haven’t seen you before and I’d definitely remember those eyes.” Robert shoots a smirk at him before taking a sip of his pint. Embarrassed, Aaron looks down at the bar.

“It’s my first night actually.” Aaron says quietly.

“Wow, is it really?”

Aarons nods.

“Alright then. Got any big plans?” he asks.

Before Aaron can respond, _Never Gonna Give You Up_ starts playing. Robert instantly perks up, looks around the bar and excitedly turns back to Aaron. He looks like a kid on Christmas morning waiting to open his presents.

“We need to dance to this,” he exclaims before quickly downing the rest of his pint.

“You what? With each other?” Aaron says, panicking slightly.

“Yeah, why not?”

Aaron looks over at the dance floor. It’s full of people being carefree and having fun. They’re laughing and enjoying themselves, they don’t give a toss what anyone else is thinking. He turns back to Robert.

“Because I don’t want people staring at me! And… because I don’t dance,” he says defiantly.

Robert won’t take no for an answer. “Come on…” he says, drawing out the last syllable. “You can dance, I know you can.”

He takes Aaron’s hand and starts to pull him towards the dancefloor. Aaron snatches his hand back.

“I can’t, Robert,”

“Yeah you can. Just follow my lead. Robert teases as he leads him to the dancefloor.

_Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down…_

The chorus is in full swing as Robert dances, carefree and letting loose. Aaron just sort of stands there awkwardly, almost rooted to the spot. He watches Robert swinging his hips and then looks around the rest of the dancefloor self-consciously. He makes an attempt to move his shoulders in time to the music but it’s painful to watch. Robert leans in and shouts “Copy me!” over the sound of the music.

He starts to sway in time to the music, shuffling from foot to foot and occasionally clicking his fingers. It’s nothing too elaborate and Aaron soon finds himself able to follow suit. He’s getting better and Robert laughs lightly and nods.

“There you go!”

Aaron starts to smile, hesitancy slowly giving way to enjoyment. Robert shows him another move and he copies it. Then another, and another, almost as if they’re playing an elaborate game of Simon Says.

_Never gonna run around and desert you…_

Robert ups his game and start moving in a more seductive manner. Aaron is acutely aware that other people have started to notice. They’re enjoying the scene, and they laugh appreciatively, not in a mocking or malicious way.

But it doesn’t feel that way to Aaron and he starts to shut down, his worst fears being realised. He feels as though everything is moving in slow motion. Self-consciousness creeps in again and he watches an oblivious Robert, who’s still dancing, completely lost in the moment and soaking up all the attention.

_Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye…_

Sadly, he starts to back away and moves to leave. Robert notices this though and reaches out for Aaron’s hand. Aaron reacts by recoiling in horror.

“You okay?” he smiles gently, concerned.

“I… I…can’t do this.” Aaron replies before bolting and hurtling towards the exit.

Aaron bursts out of the bar through a side door to find it pouring down with rain. _Great_ , he thinks to himself, _this night just keeps getting better_. He takes shelter under an awning to protect him from the downpour. He takes a deep breath in, leaning his head back against the cool, brick wall as he tries to compose himself. He eases himself down onto a stacked crate of beers and bows his head as if he were praying.

Moments later, Robert emerges from the door.

“Oi! What’d you run away for?”

Aaron lifts his head to look at Robert as he approaches. He feels his entire body thrumming with excitement as Robert sits down next to him and he curses his body for the physiological reaction it has to Robert’s presence.

He screws his eyes shut momentarily before replying.

“I told you I’m not much of a dancer.”

“Yeah you weren’t kidding,” Robert laughs breathlessly, “You were like Bambi on ice out there.”

Aaron rolls his eyes before making a move to leave but Robert throws an arm out to stop him.

“I’m kidding!” he says. Aaron throws him a knowing look. “Okay, half kidding.”

It manages break the tension and they share a smile.

“I’m sorry I pushed you into it. It’s just that it’s Saturday night - it comes around so quickly and then it’s over before you know it. Saturday nights are meant for having _fun_ ,” says Robert. Aaron notices he gets a faraway look in his eyes, like underneath the shine of Saturday nights he grieving something he lost.

Aaron stays quiet for a second.

“It’s not that…” he tails off. “It’s just… everyone was looking.”

“Looking?” Robert seems slightly puzzled. Aaron gestures between them.

“You know… two blokes… dancing together.”

Robert scoffs. “Okay. Firstly, people round here don’t actually care about any of that. Not anymore. And secondly, don’t flatter yourself – they were clearly just checking out my amazing moves.”

“Oh yeah?”

“I’m actually a really good dancer.” He says, deadly serious. Aaron stifles a laugh.

“Oh, is that what you’d call it?”

Robert feigns offence. “Even if they were staring, let them. Because I know they were all thinking wow, look how lucky the fit beardy one is to be dancing with that absolute stud.”

Aaron laughs again. “Stud? Who actually says that? Idiot more like.”

“Thanks.”

They sit in silence for a moment. It’s comfortable and not at all awkward. Aaron looks up at the stars before saying quietly, “I’ve never been on a dancefloor before.”

Robert looks incredulous. “What, ever? Not even when you were a kid?”

“Nope.”

“That’s some childhood you had.”

“It’s a long story. Complicated. I don’t wanna bore you with all the details.” Aaron looks down again and starts fidgeting. His hands are clasped, and he digs his nails into the backs of his hands hard enough to leave a mark. Robert suddenly gets the urge to reach out and stop him but decides against it for fear that Aaron will bolt. He decides to change tack.

“Yeah. Well. I’m no stranger to complicated families myself,” sighs Robert, trying his best to diffuse Aaron’s growing unease. He’s bouncing his leg up and down with such ferocity that Robert is concerned he’s going to wear a hole in the pavement. He decides not to pry any further. The only way forward is to do what he does best – flirt up a storm.

“So, Aaron Dingle. What else would you like to do? That you’ve never done before?” Robert asks as he sidles in closer. Aaron is stopped in his tracks and shoots him a shy, nervous smile, avoiding all eye contact.

“I… I… don’t know.”

“It’s Saturday night and _everything_ is up for grabs here,” he says, moving in even closer. “And midnight is only two hours away…”

He’s so close now that Aaron can feel his breath on his cheek. He can smell the spice of his aftershave. If he turned his head to the left, he’s almost certain their lips would touch. His heart races at the prospect of kissing Robert. It’s too much for him to handle. He thinks he might actually be short-circuiting but somehow manages to stutter out:

“That’s not long.”

“Then why are we wasting time sitting here?” Robert purrs in his ear as he slides his hand onto Aaron’s inner thigh. His hand moves dangerously close to his groin. The tension is thick between them and Aaron swears Robert’s hand burning through his jeans like a hot poker. He’s frozen for a moment before the reality of the situation starts to sink in. He exhales shakily before abruptly getting to his feet, startled like a deer in headlights.

“Look, I, erm…” Aaron chokes, extremely flustered. Robert doesn’t react. Doesn’t act like he’s offended.

“It’s okay,” he says reassuringly.

“No, I mean…”

“Honestly, Aaron, it’s fine.” Robert raises his hands in surrender.

“I’m engaged! I have a fiancée,” Aaron splutters awkwardly. His cheeks go pink.

Robert looks back at Aaron, marvelling at the incoherent mess standing in front of him. Somehow he still finds him attractive.

“Tracy, she’s called Tracy-”

“And is Tracy here?”

“No, she’s-”

“Somewhere else?” he questions.

“Yeah.”

“Right.” Robert ponders for a moment before giving Aaron the once over. “Do you want to spend the night with me then?” His gaze drags painstakingly slowly down Aaron’s body, making him feel exposed. “We could be back at mine in no time.”

“I’ve never done anything like that before.”

“All the more reason to,” Robert replies coyly.

Aaron doesn’t know what to say. He can practically feel his heart thumping out of his chest at the prospect of going home with the man in front of him. He’s practically a stranger but Robert is all he wants, all he can think about right now.

“You’re nice. But I can’t.” He says, regret instantly flooding his body.

“Okay.” Robert shrugs. Aaron is amazed at how well he continues to take the rejection. He tries to convey how much he wants this despite his protestations.

“I just… I can’t.”

“I get it.” Robert smiles softly at him and Aaron can tell he’s being sincere. _Why does he have to make this more difficult?_ Aaron thinks to himself. He needs to get out before Robert changes his mind.

“I have to go.”

“In this?” Robert gestures at the rain as it continues to fall.

Aaron throws out a hand. “It was nice to meet you.”

Robert looks at his outstretched hand for a moment, amused. They lock eyes as Robert takes Aaron’s hand and shakes it.

“Likewise,” he grins.

Aaron holds on for a moment too long, knowing he has to let go at some point. But he doesn’t want to. Robert isn’t letting go either, and Aaron’s regret continues to fester. Robert keeps looking at him and Aaron knows he has to break whatever this is between them. He finally pulls his hand away and quickly walks off without saying another word.

Robert watches him leave with a twinkle still in his eye. He’s not sure what it is about Aaron’s awkwardness that he finds so endearing, or how he’s managed to be the most intriguing person he’s met for a long time. He decides not to dwell on it and chalks tonight down as a missed opportunity. _Shame,_ he thinks to himself. He was quite looking forward to seeing how it all unfolded.

Aaron only makes it a few yards as he berates himself for being such an idiot. He screws his eyes shut and takes a deep breath, looking up towards the sky again. The rain lashes down on his face as he replays their conversation from moments earlier. He was mad to turn down the handsome stranger who was basically offering himself on a plate. If he didn’t do it now, he might never do it.

He open his eyes again and turns on his heel to look at Robert, but he’s not there. He’s clearly gone back inside to find someone else to go home with tonight. Aaron has missed his chance. He hovers for a moment, utterly crushed. He could go back inside, find Robert, and tell him he’s made a terrible mistake. He could take that leap and kiss him and see where the night takes them. In the end though, he’s not brave enough, and he kicks himself as he walks off into the night, left wondering what could have been.

**_ONE WEEK LATER_ **

Aaron stares at himself in the mirror, head to toe in black. Robert’s words from the week before ring in his ears and dissatisfied, he ransacks his wardrobe for something different. He tries on numerous different outfits but ends up looking like a Miami Vice reject or the sixth member of the Breakfast Club. _What the hell am I even doing?_ he wonders to himself. Why all the effort? What (or more importantly, who) was he going to all this trouble for anyway?

Eventually he settles on a grey long-sleeved polo neck and his dark jeans. Finally happy, he gives himself one final look in the mirror and smiles slightly as he leaves his flat.

Meanwhile, Robert pulls up outside Tucker’s in his silver Porsche 944 just as the sun is starting to set. He climbs out, locks the door, turns around – and there’s Donna. He brushes past her and heads towards the entrance.

“Donna, you need to stop this.”

“Just hear me out, yeah?” she pleads.

Robert stops in his tracks and turns to face her. This isn’t fun anymore.

“How many blokes do you think there are here in San Junipero? Hundreds? Thousands?” he asks.

“I don’t care.”

“I’m saying there are plenty of other guys for you Donna. Ones you could properly settle down with,”

“But the locals are like dead people” she replies, as a large group of rowdy partygoers pass them, whooping and cheering.

“They seem pretty lively for dead people.”

“Look, I don’t want some boring two-kids-and-a-dog type romance-”

Robert interrupts. “Well if you just want someone to shag, there’s plenty of options. I’m sure someone will be interested.”

“It’s not just sex,”

“It was just sex,”

“We’ve got a connection,” she says, stepping closer.

“Donna, honestly, it was _just sex_.”

Her face falls, clearly wounded. Robert takes her hand.

“No attachments, no roots. We had fun but I’m sorry, that’s all it was for me,” giving her a small smile as he leaves and heads into the bar.

Robert is sitting at the bar when he’s approached by a girl who is trying to emulate Whitney Houston with her hair permed in a half up do and a lilac crocheted mini dress.

“Hey,”

Robert isn’t particularly interested but plays along to be polite.

“Hey,” he replies.

“Are you waiting for someone?” she asks.

“Not really,”

“Well in that case, are you going to buy me a drink?” she asks, batting her eyelashes and sliding into the seat beside him.

Aaron enters the bar and spots Robert almost instantly through the swathes of people on the dancefloor. He edges closer as Robert orders a drink for him and the girl who’s currently invading his personal space.

Their drinks arrive and Robert pretends to listen as the girl witters on. He’s bored but nods intermittently and makes the odd non-committal noise to give the illusion that he’s listening. He looks around and spots Aaron, standing a few feet away. They lock eyes for a moment, before Robert holds out his hand and asks the girl to dance. He shoots Aaron one final look as he leads her onto the dancefloor. He knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s gotten good at this, you see. Blocking out reality and getting with whoever takes his fancy. And in this place, where nothing and no-one really matters, he can’t and won’t let himself feel anything deeper. Because after all, none of it is real. It’s just a fantasy.

Aaron can’t bring himself to look away as the music changes and _I Need You Tonight_ begins to play. The bass line pulses through the floor and he looks on forlornly as Robert and the girl move in sync to the beat. He goes to turn away, but Robert keeps looking over, acutely aware that Aaron is still watching. Aaron wants to walk over and step in, shoving the girl out of the way as he goes but he can’t and stays firmly rooted to the spot. It feels like Robert is getting a kick out of watching him squirm like this, making him jealous. Yet he can’t tear himself away. It’s like there’s an invisible force between them, keeping Aaron firmly in Robert’s orbit.

Which is the reason why 10 minutes later, he ends up sitting it a booth directly opposite Robert and the girl, pint in hand. He glances at Robert who’s still pretending to be interested in whatever the girl has to say. Aaron looks away and takes a sip of his drink. This time when he looks back over, Robert is looking at him, sipping his drink through a straw. Flustered, Aaron stares at the ground as Robert smiles faintly.

Robert leans into the girl and interrupts her story about her grandma’s dead dog, excusing himself and heading straight for the gent’s toilets. Across the way, Aaron watches him go. Robert throws a quick look Aaron’s way as he leaves.

After a few moments, Aaron gets up and walks into the bathroom, where he finds Robert checking himself in the mirror. It’s just the two of them, no one else. Neither of them speak and Aaron just stands there, looking like he’s about to vomit.

A moment passes before Aaron mutters quietly:

“I don’t know how to do this,”

“Do what?” says Robert, feigning innocence.

“Just help me. Can you just- ” Robert looks at him.

“Can you just make this easy for me?” he says, pleadingly.

Robert doesn’t say a word but steps closer, reaching out to cradle Aaron’s face.

“Shall we go back to mine?” he says, inching even closer.

Aaron nods slowly.

Before they know it they’re speeding along in Robert’s Porsche. They’re both thrumming with excitement and it doesn’t take long for them to speed along the winding coastal roads towards Robert’s place.

They pull up outside a large white house right with a large front porch facing the ocean. It’s secluded with nothing in sight for miles around. The waves crash against the shore as they get out of the car and in the front door, casually exchanging glances as they go.

As they walk inside, Aaron looks around the place, taking it all in. They enter into the living area which leads onto the kitchen. The house is vast and open plan. It’s all creams and white, oddly soulless. It’s a house but not a home.

Robert is first to break the silence.

“Do you like it?” he asks as Aaron continues to look around.

“It’s so big,”

Silence falls between them again momentarily. Aaron spots an old looking photo of a young couple (at least he assumes they are a couple) sitting on the sideboard. The burly, bearded man looks like a farmer and has one of his large arms wrapped around a petite blonde woman, who’s nestled in at his side. Even from the picture Aaron can see the glow that radiates from them. _They look really happy_ , Aaron thinks to himself.

“Are these your parents?”

“My brother. And his wife”. He gently takes the photo frame from Aaron’s hands, clearly not in the mood to elaborate. Robert sets it back down before slowly leaning in to kiss him. It’s brief and slow before Robert pulls back slightly.

After a moment’s hesitation, Aaron reciprocates and Robert’s hands come up to cup his face as the kiss grows more frenzied. His body feels like it’s on fire as Robert’s lips move against his own, his tongue brushing against his lower lip to part them. Aaron _wants_ this so badly. He doesn’t want to be afraid any more. He wants to give in.

So give in he does as he paws at Robert’s leather jacket, shrugging it off his shoulders. A trail of clothing littering the path as they make their way to Robert’s bedroom.

Suddenly they’re lying on Robert’s bed in the dark and this is really, truly happening. Aaron feels overwhelmed and excited all at the same time. Robert’s hand slides from Aaron’s neck lower and lower.

“You need to show me…” Aaron says breathlessly as Robert’s hand reaches his hip.

“Good,” Robert breathes out, grinning from ear to ear as he frantically unbuckles Aaron’s belt.

Afterwards they lie next to each other, sated, in the darkness, Aaron on the left and Robert on the right. Sweat cools on their skin as they stare up at the ceiling. The sound of them breathing heavily fills the room.

Thoughts race through Aaron’s head as he lies there. He can’t quite believe it’s finally happened after all this time. He feels giddy with it, as though he might explode. All that build up, everything he’d been unsure of for so long has just melted away, replaced by a feeling of contentedness and satisfaction he’d never experienced before. They lie like that for a while before Robert breaks the silence between them.

“So you’ve really never slept with a bloke before?” he asks, rolling onto his side to face Aaron.

“And that’s not a critique by the way, that was pretty amazing.”

“Never with a man,” Aaron pauses. “Never with anyone actually.” he says, still staring up at the ceiling. He picks at a hang nail on his thumb, fixated on it to try and focus on anything but his nerves. Despite what’s just transpired between them, he’s scared of how Robert will react.

“No one? What, like no one here? In San Junipero? Or-”

“No-one ever,” Aaron says matter-of-factly, turning to face Robert, smiling nervously.

Robert gives him a reassuring smile back. Aaron is somewhat relieved.

“You’ve had relationships though, right?”

Aaron averts Robert’s gaze.

“Nope.” He says somewhat sheepishly.

“But you’ve got a fiancée…” Robert says, puzzled.

“It’s… complicated”

“You don’t have to tell me, not if you don’t want to,” Robert says softly, entwining their fingers. Not for the first time this evening, Aaron is taken aback. His instinct is still to sharply pull away, but he fights the urge as Robert’s thumb rubs across his palm. It’s a different kind of intimacy, new heights of tenderness never quite reached before. He thinks he likes it. A comfortable silence falls between them again. This time it’s Aaron who speaks first.

“When did you know? That you liked men?” he asks quietly.

“I like women too. Equal rights and all that,” Robert winks.

“Okay. But when did you know? Did you always know?”

Robert looks at him. He doesn’t usually do pillow talk. He just doesn’t open up to his conquests, can’t risk them getting too attached. It’s normally a quick shag and they’re shown the door. But something about Aaron feels _different_. With the soft expression on his face and the curls falling across his forehead as he lies there, staring back at him. He’s gorgeous and pliable under Robert’s gaze. There’s something about him and Robert wants to uncover it.

“I had a few serious relationships with women. I was even married to a woman. For a few years anyway. In the end we weren’t right for each other,” he pauses and looks at Aaron. “But I always ‘knew’. I was attracted to boys when I was at school, but I never really acted on it. Well, not initially anyway.”

His face hardens slightly. He internally debates giving Aaron all of the gory details. He’s known the guy all of two minutes and he’s not sure how much of the ‘real’ him to divulge. Aaron might run for the hills. But whatever this was between them, it felt real and it felt scary. It had been so long since he’d properly spoken to someone like this and he decides to take the plunge.

“I was always the disappointment with my dad, growing up,” he says softly.

Aaron’s silent and somehow that makes it easier, opens up the gateway for Robert to just talk.

“I did everything to try and impress him, but I always felt like a failure. Then when it came to my feelings…when I realised it was lads I liked too…”

“Did he react badly?”

Robert exhales, gives a sort of half-laugh of shaken up nerves. He’s never got this far in the story before, but there’s something about the dark that makes it almost a secret between them. Aaron is still next to him, listening like no one else has.

“When I was a kid, we lived on a farm. We had this lad help out. He must’ve only been about 17 or 18 at the time.”

“And… did something happen between you?” Aaron probes gently.

“It would have, but my dad, he caught us in my room. He sacked him and he leathered me. And we never talked about it again. He said it was for skiving, but… he couldn’t look at me for weeks. I knew what it was for,” he pauses, taking a breath. “I was 15. Nobody in my family knows. But most of them are gone now anyway, so…”

“You don’t have to say anything else. I get it.”

Aaron slides closer and cups Robert’s face with his free hands. Tears are glistening in Robert’s eyes now. He blinks to try and shake them away. He doesn’t do this, not here, not anywhere.

“I’m sorry he was that kind of bloke.”

“He wasn’t. Not really. He just…” Robert’s voice wobbles. He composes himself before continuing. “He just didn’t want a son like me.”

The silence is heavy now and Robert feels it crushing his chest, the big knot in his throat impossible to swallow. He does what he does best and locks it back inside. The way Aaron looks at him is like he knows, like he sees this isn’t okay, that Robert’s tired and hurting. But he doesn’t pry, he squeezes his hand instead. The greatest show of support Robert’s ever felt.

He shakes himself free of the past.

“But this is now. I can be myself. I can do what I want, when I want, with who I want. And before I leave this place I’m going to make the most of it. I’m going to have a good time.”

Aaron leans over and kisses him tenderly. It snaps Robert out of it and he’s embarrassed at the vulnerability he’s just displayed to a near stranger. He pulls away to take a look at the digital clock on his bedside table. It’s 11:59pm.

“It’s almost midnight,” Robert says, stretching, trying to change the subject.

“So let’s just lie here,” replies Aaron, running his thumb across the back of Robert’s hand.

They lie like that, in the dark until the clock hits 12 and everything cuts to black.

**_ONE WEEK LATER_ **

Aaron crosses the road onto Barker Street again. Everything is eerily similar – the same sounds, sights and smells, bar some minor differences. He notices the poster of _Lethal Weapon_ has been replaced by _Dirty Dancing_ and the TVs in the electrical shop are showing an advert for Daz washing powder as he heads towards Tucker’s.

Aaron heads into the bar and looks around, eagerly searching for Robert. He’s been looking forward to this all week. He just wants to see him, touch him and be around him again. He thinks back to how open and vulnerable Robert was with him last week and smiles to himself. _This could be the real deal_ he thinks.

But as he looks around, there’s no sign of Robert anywhere. He checks the arcade section. Nothing. Although a part of him is grateful that Finn isn’t lingering there too. He checks the booths and the dancefloor. Nope. Still nothing.

After spending 15 minutes searching everywhere imaginable, he sits at the bar with a pint. Perplexed, he sits and watches as the bar continues to fill with people. It’s as busy as ever but Robert is nowhere to be seen. He’s still not there.

 _I Wanna Dance with Somebody_ blasts loudly from the nearby speakers as Aaron thinks. Eventually he leans across the bar to speak to Alicia, the waitress from last week as she collects empty glasses and beer bottles. It’s so loud that Aaron has to shout to be heard.

“Have you seen Robert?”

“What’s that?” she asks, still struggling to hear him over the music and the crowds of people.

“Robert. Have you seen him?” he asks, louder.

“Sorry love, I haven’t seen him all night.”

Aaron looks around the bar again, somewhat deflated.

“Have you tried the Quagmire?” she asks.

“What’s the Quagmire?”

She gives him a soft, almost pitying look before beckoning him closer.

Before he knows it, Aaron is on a country road practically in the middle of nowhere. He peers down at the napkin in his hand with a map on it, quickly scribbled by Alicia.

Directly in front of him is a mechanical gate, with a dirt track behind it. The gate swings open as 3 motorbikes speed down the track, their riders shouting and hollering at him as the dust rises in the air. The sun is starting to set on the horizon and it grows increasingly darker by the minute.

A sense of foreboding washes over Aaron as he approaches the gate. Beside it, on a small pole, is a small entry buzzer with the word _QUAGMIRE_ above the button. He tentatively reaches out a hand and pushes it.

“Uh huh?” the voice crackles over the intercom.

“Hi, erm, I’m looking for someone -”

“Good luck with that mate.” There’s a clicking noise and then the voice is gone.

Aaron considers turning back but strengthens his resolve. He presses the button again.

“Do you want in?” the voice sounds bored.

“Yeah.” Aaron replies, somewhat hesitantly.

“Are you sure?”

“Uh, yeah, I - ”

There’s a buzz as the gate is unlocked. Aaron opens it and steps through. In front of him, at the end of the track in the distances, he sees the Quagmire. It looks like a disused warehouse, pipes curling around it’s exterior and large chimney billowing smoke into the night sky.

When he arrives at the entrance, Aaron starts to understand the previous reactions from people when they talk about the Quagmire. The place looks and sounds hard core, like a roadhouse from an 80s action film crossed with a German techno club. A dozen Harley Davidsons are clustered together outside and off to the side he sees a leather-clad trio writhing in the back of a pick up truck. He immediately wishes he could un-see it.

Nevertheless, he approaches the entrance. As he walks in, he almost immediately does a 180. If he thought Tucker’s was overwhelming, the Quagmire takes it to new extremes. The punters are all either semi-naked, dressed in black or leather or some variation of all 3. The club is dark and dingy as Aaron makes his way along the narrow, twisting corridors and techno music pulses so loudly he can feel it through the floor. This, combined with the flashing strobe lights makes his head hurt.

Aaron looks around, in search of Robert. This is part pick-up joint, part fantasy-fulfilment dive bar. People are just kissing passionately in corner, exploring and flaunting their sexuality in any way they can.

A man with a shaved bald head, naked except for leather budgie smugglers and chains dances directly in Aaron’s path. He goes to step around him but baldie dances in his way. Aaron steps the other way and he finally relents. Further along, he’s greeted by an intimidating woman with a large snake draped over her neck. She doesn’t speak, just stares at Aaron as he passes. Even further along he spots people grinding together in cages. _What the actual fuck?_ he thinks internally, visibly daunted by his surroundings.

A couple sidle over to him, a man and a woman both in their mid-twenties. They’re both dressed as scantily clad sailors.

“Want to have fun?” says the woman, almost inaudible over the loud music.

“I’m alright thanks,” Aaron replies, before darting off.

It’s claustrophobic as the corridors are stuffed with more people. He finds himself squeezing through less and less space, hands reaching out to touch him as he goes. The further he ventures in, the more labyrinth-like it becomes. At one point he passes a room where some kind of orgy must be taking place, judging by the moans emanating from it. He doesn’t dare look in to find out and continues on his way.

As he reaches what appears to be another dead end, he can see some kind of bare-knuckle fight going on. Aaron jumps as one guy’s face gets pressed against the wire of the cage and he yells out in pain. He hears the sound of glass being shattered and as the guy’s opponent sucker punches him in the face, Aaron winces and turns away.

In his haste to get away, he almost crashes into a staggering, semi-drunk Donna, who’s striding past with a bottle of beer.

“Oi!” she yelps, before their eyes meet.

“I recognise you from somewhere,” she says, squinting at him and trying to place him. She sways slightly, the alcohol clearly having an effect on her. After a beat, it finally clicks for her.

“Tucker’s. You’re Robert’s friend.”

Aaron nods.

“Do you know where to find him?”

“And how would I know that?” she responds, irked. She turns to walk away.

“You’re his friend,” Aaron says.

“Was a friend.”

“Has he been here?”

“No.” She looks at Aaron and the penny drops. “Oh you too, eh? Wow. You poor bastard.”

She takes a sip of beer as if performing a weird kind of toast. With her words she’s managed to make Aaron feel about 2 feet tall. Utterly deflated, he’s embarrassed to realises that he’s just another notch on Robert’s bedpost. He’s about to leave when Donna takes pity on him, her face changing.

“My advice? Try a different time. I’ve seen him in 1980, the mid 90’s and one time in 2002,” she takes another swig of beer. “It’s worth a shot right?” she smiles weakly before raising the bottle again. Aaron nods at her as she heads back into the throes of the Quagmire and he makes his way towards the exit.

**_ONE WEEK LATER_ **

The stack of TVs in the electrical shop’s window display go static, playing a clip of the _Who Shot JR?_ storyline from Dallas as Aaron strides past. A silver Chrysler Cordoba glides down the street, the now-familiar smell of petrol and fast food filling his nose.

But Aaron barely notices. He’s a man on a mission as he powers along the street and into Tucker’s. He’s going to find Robert, one way or the other.

 _Funkytown_ pounds from the speakers as Aaron navigates his way through the crowd. Everyone is dressed in the styles and fashion of 1980 – muted shades of brown, cream and orange are commonplace.

But there’s no sign of Robert.

He walks down to the arcade section, desperately searching but finding nothing but Finn. This time the cabinets consist of _Rally X, Missile Command_ and _Space Invaders_ , which Finn has clearly just completed a game of.

“Hey,” says Finn, eager as ever.

“Oh, hi,” replies Aaron, shooting him a small half-smile before scanning the area.

Finn indicates to the cabinet next to him.

“The golden age of gaming, right?” He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“Errr… yeah.” Aaron is still looking around.

“You playing, or…?”

“Sorry. Looking for someone,” Aaron says brusquely. Finn nods.

“Maybe next time?”

Aaron is already gone.

**_ONE WEEK LATER_ **

This time Aaron walks past the electrical shop there’s a news report about Take That splitting up and when he looks at the side of the building, there’s a poster for _Trainspotting_ looming large above him. He pulled from his thoughts as the driver of a green Ford Countour beeps their horn.

 _Third time lucky,_ he hopes to himself. He prays that Robert will be there.

As he enters the bar, it’s almost exactly like all the times before: the swathes of people, the loud pulsing music except now the style is a mix of grunge and glamour wear. There’s silk babydoll dresses, tartan mini skirts and over sized sweatshirts.

Again he looks but there’s still no sign.

So he decides to approach things differently and before he knows it he’s standing outside Robert’s house. The sun is setting rapidly and the lights are off. He steps onto the porch and edges closer. He cups his hand and presses his face closer to the panes of glass in the doorframe. Nothing.

He walks around the porch to the windows on the other side. Still nothing.

He tries the door handle but it’s locked. Nothing.

Frustration builds within him and Aaron curses himself internally. He then takes a step back and calls up to the upstairs windows.

“Robert!”

Silence.

He tries again, louder this time.

“ROBERT!”

Nothing. He sinks down onto the steps with his head in his hands.

****

**_ONE WEEK LATER_ **

A Chrysler PT Cruiser thrums past and the familiar poster of one of Aaron’s favourite films, _The Bourne Identity_ stands out in contrast to the pale, grey building. Into Tucker’s he goes.

As Aaron enters the bar, _Can’t Get You Out of My Head_ is playing on the sound system. His eyes scan across from the bar, to the booths, to the dancefloor and still nothing. Finally admitting defeat, he walks towards the exit, passing the arcade section. This time there’s a _Dance-Dance Revolution_ with its brightly flashing lights. He suddenly stops when he realises who’s playing on it.

Different outfit, slightly different hair but still, unmistakeably Robert. And he’s dancing with Finn of all people.

He walks over to watch as they dance along to the Kylie track. They’re doing well and as the track finishes, they’re awarded a _GREAT!_ ranking. Robert high fives Finn and looks around.

He locks eyes with Aaron. He looks unsure of himself and his face suddenly drops. He turns to Finn.

“Sorry mate, just need to go to the gents.”

Robert turns on his heel and heads in the direction of the toilets with Aaron in hot pursuit. By the time he gets to the door, Aaron has managed to catch up with him.

“No, you don’t get to just walk away from me. Just stop right there and let me say something, alright?” Aarons practically growls.

Robert turns around, clearly irritated. “Why are you even here?”

“I was looking for you. Where were you?”

“Just felt like a change of music,” Robert replies nonchalantly.

Aaron doesn’t understand why he’s being so cold. He feels his anger rising as Robert starts fiddling with a Nokia 7650. He snatches it out of his hand and hurls it across the room.

“Why won’t you properly look at me?”

Robert points to the phone, currently 10 metres away. “I was looking at that,” he states, completely ignoring Aaron’s question.

“You hid from me,” he says accusingly.

Robert rolls his eyes at this “I didn’t. And even if I did, I don’t owe you anything anyway.”

He storms into the bathroom. Aaron has other ideas though and charges in after him.

“This isn’t about you _owing_ me anything! It’s about not being a complete dick after we slept together!” Aaron shouts.

Robert scoffs, which only increases Aaron’s anger.

“You don’t know anything about me. You haven’t a clue what this means!”

“Aaron, this, us. It isn’t real. In case you haven’t noticed, nothing here is real.”

He’s being a condescending prick and Aaron can see there’s no going back. After all Robert had told him about his Dad and coming to terms with everything, it’s been a complete waste of time trying to find him. _Why did I even bother?_ He thinks. _Why did I think he was something special?_

He can feel the tears prickling behind his eyes. It’s done. It’s over.

Robert regrets the words as soon as they come out of his mouth. He can see that Aaron is close to tears and wishes he could just erase this conversation from his memory. “Okay, look, please don’t do that.”

“You don’t feel bad at all, do you?” He looks at Robert who clearly has nothing to say for himself. “Well maybe you should feel bad. Or at least feels _something_ ,” he spits out before turning on his heel and leaving.

Robert sighs and watches as he goes. He turns to look at himself in the mirror, gripping the sides of the sink tightly. He looks up and punches the mirror, hard. Hard enough for it to shatter. He stares down at his hand. There’s no blood. He looks back to his reflection and the mirror looks brand new.

Meanwhile, Aaron brushes through the swathes of people in the bar area and tries not to cry. He feels sick and needs out of this place ASAP. The fire door is flung open as Aaron stomps out. He slaps the brick wall a number of times. How had he been so stupid? He’d searched far and wide for Robert just to have it all thrown back in his face. He should’ve known better.

He’s shaking and starts pacing back and forth. He doesn’t know what to do with himself. He spots the fire escape, snaking up the side of the building and heads for the roof.

Moments later, Robert emerges from Tuckers. He knows he was being harsh and tries to look for Aaron so that he can apologise. He scans the street for the now familiar scruffy but handsome man but he isn’t there. He has no idea where else he would have gone. All he can see is a couple sitting on the bonnet of a car and they’re both looking up at something up high behind him. He walks over to them.

“Have you seen a guy come out of here in the past 5 minutes or so? Short dark hair, beard, kinda grumpy looking?”

The girl just points up behind him. Robert turns to see Aaron, standing on the roof of Tuckers looking down at the pavement.

“Shit!” he curses as he heads towards the fire escape.

Robert makes it to the top of the fire escape and clambers off. He sees Aaron sitting on the edge of the roof now, calmly dangling his legs over the side.

Robert approaches slowly.

“Please tell me your pain slider is at zero,” he asks tentatively.

Aaron continues to stare out at San Junipero.

“Think so,” he replies softly.

Robert gingerly sits down beside him.

“Okay, look-” he starts but is cut off by Aaron. He points down at the people milling around on the pavement.

“How many of them are dead, do you think? What percentage?”

Robert shrugs. “The full timers? I don’t know. 80? 85%?”

Aaron just nods.

“Aaron, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to jump.” Aaron says sadly.

“I know, I’m sorry. It’s just… in the time I’ve been here,” he sighs. “I’m only visiting here. And it’s just… I didn’t want to… I said I wouldn’t… _do_ … feelings,” he manages to stutter out.

Robert takes Aaron’s hand in his own, entwining their fingers. He isn’t normally this inarticulate but this is the effect Aaron seems to have on him.

“I didn’t want to ‘like’ anyone. No strings, no risks. So you, you’ve been a total inconvenience and not part of my plan,” he laughs gently, giving Aaron’s hand a squeeze. He’s getting emotional now and looks at Aaron before continuing.

“I met you, and you changed everything,” he pauses. “But I just don’t know how long there is. And I can’t… I wasn’t prepared for this, for you, for wanting you-”

But his sentiment is abruptly cut short as Aaron surges forward and crashes their lips together in a passionate kiss.

They end up back at Robert’s again, in his bed. Aaron has Robert in any which way he can, just to make the most of the short time they have left of the night.

It’s now 11:55pm and Aaron sits on the decking wrapped in a blanket, facing out to the sea. Robert emerges from the bedroom in black boxers, shrugging on a white t-shirt before sitting down next to him. His hair is ruffled, sticking up in all different directions thanks to Aaron running his hands through it mid-blow job. He notices a purple bruise blooming under Aaron’s earlobe and reaches out, brushing his thumb over it, admiring his handiwork.

“Can’t believe I’m getting married next week.”

“Next week?” says Robert, incredulous. “To the ‘lovely’ Tracy.”

Aaron laughs softly.

“Are you sure you’re going through with that?”

“I have to,” replies Aaron.

“You _have_ to?”

Aaron pauses for a moment.

“I do. She really is a nice girl. I mean, my family still don’t approve but they can’t stop us. I know that she pities me though,” he says, nodding sadly, “ but that’s not fair because she’s…”

“Shhh” says Robert as he wraps his arm around Aaron, tucking him into his side and pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead.

They stay like that for a minute with Robert caressing his shoulder before Aaron speaks.

“You said on the roof earlier that you didn’t know how long there is. What did you mean by that?”

Robert tenses up slightly at this. He leans back slightly and exhales before replying.

“They’ve said I have 3 months left. It’s spread everywhere basically. The cancer.”

He’s silent for a moment. The heaviness of the conversation sits between them and Robert decides to mask it with false bravado.

“But then they’ve said 3 months before and that was a year ago so what do they know eh?”

“So… are you going to stay here? Pass over and go full time?” Aaron asks.

Robert shakes his head. “Nope. When I’m done, I’m done.”

Aaron is slightly taken aback. “But why?”

He looks at Robert who’s now staring despondently out towards the sea, his face completely unreadable. “Andy. My brother.”

Aaron looks puzzled. “Andy died a few months ago now. He had the chance to stay in San Junipero and pass over but he didn’t take it.”

“But I don’t get it. Why wouldn’t anyone take it?”

“Because of his wife. The one in the picture. Katie.”

Aaron remains puzzled as Robert continues.

“She died over 30 years ago now, way before all this technology was invented. When it came out a couple of years ago, I thought everyone would be biting their hands off to try it, and they did. But not our Andy. Not without Katie.” He sighs. “I tried my best to convince him, but he wouldn’t budge. She was his whole life. I reckon if she had used it, passed on then he would have followed but without her? He just wasn’t interested. So in the end, he decided to have a ‘normal’ death.”

Everything falls silent again.

“I didn’t know if I wanted to try it, but without this place I’d _never_ have met someone like you. I don’t think I could’ve done this without you” says Aaron reassuringly. The mood changes between them.

“Yeah you could’ve…”

“No, I couldn’t.”

“You never know, we could have met each other outside of all of this.”

Aaron scoffs. “If you met me in real life, I don’t think we’d have got on. You wouldn’t have got me at all.”

“Go on, try me.”

“You wouldn’t… you’d never…”

“Try me.”

Aaron looks at him.

“Why? What’s the point anyway. Where are you? London or something?”

“Just outside Leeds.”

Aaron stays silent.

“So go on, where are you?”

Aaron still says nothing.

“If you don’t tell me, I _can_ just look it up…”

“A village, just outside Hotten.”

“That’s no distance.”

“It’s still a bit of a journey for you.”

“I like to travel. When they let me.”

“When they let you? Where are you? A hospice? A care home?”

“I don’t want to talk about that. But believe me, I’ll get out of there. I’ll break out if I have to.”

Aaron’s panic grows. “They won’t let you anyway so what’s the point?”

“I’ll make them let me, don’t you worry about that.”

Aaron is becoming increasingly distressed at the prospect and hardens.

“I don’t want you to,” he snaps. “I don’t want you to see me. I’m scared of you seeing me like that. I want you to think of me like this. Young. Fit and healthy.” he says, visibly emotional.

“And I’m dying. Whatever you are can’t scare me. Let me come and visit you. Please.”

He looks at Robert. He can see the pleading in his eyes and the concern on his face. His heart swells in the knowledge that Robert wants to be closer to him, even in real life. Aaron thinks for a second before relenting. He nods slowly, almost imperceptibly so, before snuggling closer to Robert just as the clock strikes midnight.

Outside an expensive looking care home, a frail man well into his 70s wearily reaches the bottom step. He leans on his walking stick to catch his breath before being greeted by one of the nurses. He takes his hand as he leads him over to the waiting car, door wide open. Moments ago, he was up on his feet, a young man in his thirties. How easy that was, how free. He raises his fingers to his temple, that warm circle where the connecter was, the area where life was breathed back into him. Every sensation to intense and real. He’d been there in the dark, lips on Aaron’s shoulder, promising he’d do whatever it took to visit him. And now here he was, disconnected from the system, old and shaky on his feet, trembling with nerves and age, about to keep his promise.

“Okay Robert, take my hand,” he says gently. “There you go.”

He takes a deep breath again as the door closes behind him and the car sets off along the road.

After about half an hour, the car stops outside Hotten General. The nurse, Ellis, helps Robert out of the car before adjusting his collar and smoothing the creases in his elbow patched maroon cardigan.

A friendly looking doctor approaches them and holds out his hand to greet him.

“I’m Dr Cavanagh. You must be Robert,” he says warmly, smiling. “He’s waiting for you, if you’d just like to follow me.”

They head up 3 floors in the lift before the doctor leads Robert to a small private room. He can hear the beeping from some kind of monitor and the percussive rise and fall of a mechanical ventilator before he enters. As he walks through the door, Dr Cavanagh speaks again.

“He won’t be able to physically respond in any way, but he can hear you. I’ll give you both some privacy.”

Robert steps closer to the bed. He looks down at the man in the bed. He looks like he’s in his late 60s, frail, withered and wrinkly but still unmistakeably Aaron. He’d recognise that face anywhere. He thinks back to the first time he saw Aaron, looking like a deer in the headlights as he slid into the booth beside him; the first time he smiled at Robert, lighting up the room; the first time he held his hand in the dark as Robert told him the deepest, darkest secrets about his past.

He reminds himself it’s still the same Aaron with him now, just different. A ventilation tube runs down Aaron’s throat, manually breathing for him. As his chest rises and falls, the sound of the ventilator continues to fill the room. He looks so peaceful yet vulnerable and Robert doesn’t quite know what to do with himself.

He moves closer before sitting down in the chair next to the bed. After adjusting his glasses, he stares at Aaron and takes his hand. “Hiya, idiot,” he says without malice, squeezing his hand. “It’s good to see you.”

He runs his fingers through Aaron’s hair softly before kissing his forehead.

Robert sits for a while, just holding Aaron’s hand and talking to him about everything and nothing. Eventually Ellis advises that they should be on their way and he gets up slowly, saying goodbye to Aaron with another kiss.

They make their way along the corridor when a bubbly, young nurse catches up with them.

“Hi! Robert isn’t it?”

“Yeah that’s me,” he replies, slightly bewildered.

She holds out a bright pink manicured hand, beaming.

“I’m Tracy.”

Robert stares at her, incredulous.

“ _You’re_ Tracy? Bloody hell.”

Tracy giggles at his outburst.

“You know I think it’s great you came to see him in person before he passes over,” she says excitedly, her upbeat manner simply infectious. “I mean, even his family don’t visit anymore so…”

“He’s _passing over_?” Robert interjects, shocked.

It goes quiet as Tracy realises she’s put her foot in it. She exchanges a panicked look with Ellis who simply shrugs in response and looks awkward.

“When?” Robert asks.

Tracy points towards the canteen just ahead of them, beyond the reception area.

“Erm, let’s go and have a coffee, shall we?” she asks brightly.

Tracy sits across from Robert, placing down the disposable coffee cups in front of her. She opens the lid to check the contents before sliding the americano across the table and taking a sip of her own vanilla latte.

“He didn’t tell you then?” she asks, more serious now.

“No. He didn’t. He said he was just visiting.”

“More like sampling the trial version.”

Robert doesn’t respond. Instead he looks down at his coffee as Tracy attempts to fill the silence.

“I mean, I’ve only known him for the past 3 years. We talk on the combox. Has he told you about how he ended up in a coma? And how long he’s been that way?”

Robert says nothing but his face is very telling.

“So one night when he’s about 18, his step dad, Paddy, sees him outside a gay bar. Comes right out with it and asks Aaron if he’s gay. He’s still totally in denial at this point and starts kicking off at him, proper beats him up. After that he ran away from home for a bit,” she sighs, twisting a bit of her hair around her finger. She continues.

“Anyway, when he eventually goes home, he starts dating this bloke. Aaron ends up punching him to try and keep things a secret, gets charged with ABH and his step dad tells his mum that he’s gay. Aaron completely loses it when he finds out that people know. Locked himself in his uncle’s garage and turns an engine on. Inhales so many car fumes that he ends up in a coma.” 

Robert is taken aback. He doesn’t really know what to say to this onslaught of information about Aaron’s past.

“All this when he was only 18?”

“Yeah, nearly 50 years ago. It’s been his whole life, basically. So this San Junipero system has been a really big thing for him.”

She takes another sip of her coffee.

“But until he passes over and goes full time, he has the 5-hour weekly limit. You must be the same?”

Robert nods. “Yeah it’s all rationed out. They don’t trust us with more.”

“They say you go a bit crazy if you have too much. You don’t leave your seat, disassociate your body from your mind…”

“Like that doesn’t already happen in every care home,” Robert says, laughing slightly. “The system is there for therapeutic reasons. They call it ‘Immersive Nostalgia Therapy’, designed to ‘plunge you into a world of memories’. It’s supposed to help with Alzheimer’s apparently.”

Tracy smiles at him. “Small mercies I suppose.”

“So, about this ‘marriage’…?” Robert asks, a devilish grin crossing his face.

Tracy finishes her coffee and breathes out slowly.

“The hospital has a triple lock on euthanasia cases. They’re rolling it out across the country now. You need to have it signed off by the doctor, the patient _and_ a family member now. It’s to stop people passing over just because they prefer San Junipero.”

Robert sardonically looks around the canteen. “Who’d want to leave all this wonder behind?”

Tracy giggles again, her large earrings jangling as she goes. “Anyway, Aaron’s family? Well, they’re Dingles. Stubborn and selfish and they won’t sign. Honestly, they’re hypocrites, the lot of them!”

“But a spouse can override that. Hence the wedding bells.”

Tracy nods. “Exactly. We’ve got a minister coming in tomorrow morning and then he’s scheduled to pass tomorrow afternoon.”

“Scheduled to pass? Let’s not beat around the bush. He’s dying.”

“If you can call it dying.”

“Uploaded to the cloud. Sounds like dying.”

“I suppose,” Tracy says solemnly.

Sensing that he’s brought the mood down slightly, Robert asks, “Are you wearing a big white wedding dress then?”

Tracy laughs heartily, shaking her head. “The ceremony’s during my coffee break. I figured since I’m not married yet, what’s the harm?”

“You’re a good person.”

She shrugs. “It’s the least I could do for him. I know that stuff I told you about his past isn’t exactly squeaky clean but he’s a got a heart of gold.”

An idea forms in Robert’s head as Tracy starts to clear the table. “Tracy, do you think you could hook us up to the system now? Just for a little while before he passes?”

“Oh you can still see him afterwards. Then he’s ‘no limits’, he’s a permanent San Juniperan…”

“I know,” he interrupts. “But can you?”

Tracy’s face drops.

“Seriously, it is so tight here, if they catch me-”

“I only want a moment.”

Tracy sighs again before relenting. Against her better judgment she asks, “Have you brought your connecter with you?” Robert nods.

When they get back to Aaron’s room, Robert sits in the chair next to the bed and pulls a small controller from his chest pocket. He pulls the tiny, round sticky pads from the bottom and attaches them to each temple.

Across the room, Tracy does the same to Aaron. She looks at Ellis and asks him to watch the door before turning to Robert.

“You’ve got _5_ minutes. No more.”

“Thank you.”

Robert presses the button on the controller. The pads begin to glow as Tracy closes over the door.

Robert opens his eyes. He’s in San Junipero, in his house. He runs towards the front door and out on to the beach where Aaron is standing, looking dazed and confused.

“Aaron! Over here! Hurry!”

Aaron looks over as Robert approaches.

“I’ve never been here during the day before. It’s warm.”

Robert takes both of Aaron’s hands in his.

“Listen, I don’t have long. I spoke to Tracy.”

“Okay…”

“You’re passing over tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” he says sheepishly, staring down at the ground. “A couple of hours after the wedding. So technically I’ll be on my honeymoon here. Forever.”

He brings his eyes to meet Robert’s again.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell y-”

Robert silences him by putting a finger to his lips.

“I’m about to say something really mental but just go with me, okay?”

“Okay…” he replies. He’s getting slightly worried now.

Robert drops down onto one knee and pulls a ring from his back pocket. Aaron looks on, confused.

“What’s that for?”

“It’s for you, you idiot. So I could ask you to marry me! Instead of Tracy.”

Aaron looks like he’s seen a ghost.

“What? Why… why would you wanna do that?”

“It’s just… she seems great and all but why not marry someone you actually fancy?”

He’s still standing there, stunned as realisation starts to dawn on him. A slow smile starts unravelling across his face. Taking the silence as a rejection, Robert starts to think he’s done the wrong thing when Aaron drops down onto his knees and kisses him on the lips, then the cheek before enveloping him in a bone crushing hug. 

Elated, Robert asks “I take it that’s a yes then?”

The following day Robert arrives back at Hotten General with Ellis. He’s quickly ushered up to Aaron’s room where they’re greeted by Tracy who is grinning like a Cheshire cat.

“You ready for this then?” she squeals.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“I’m just so made up for him – for you both actually. This is all he’s wanted for so long now and you’re helping make that happen,” she beams. “I just want him to be happy.”

She gives him a peck on the cheek before she and Ellis help him over to Aaron’s bedside. As he sits down, he greets Aaron and gives his hand a quick squeeze. Robert watches the rise and fall of his chest, aided by the ventilator as Tracy and Ellis chat quietly in the corner. His gaze travels up as he moves to look at Aaron’s face, much older and wrinkled but still unmistakeably Aaron. He thinks about how things could have been different, how they could have met earlier and how they could have ended up getting married under _very different_ circumstances. It makes him sad to think of all the things they hadn’t done and now never would.

He looks down at their entwined hands and thinks back to their conversation on the roof of Tucker’s. He thinks about how Aaron made him feel in that moment and how he wants to give Aaron the chance to live the life he never had, the one he always wanted, and deserved. Even now, as he’s about to marry Aaron he’s still taken aback at how strong his feelings are for him after such a short space of time.

He’s so wrapped up in Aaron that it takes him a moment to notice that Tracy has decided to decorate the place. His eyes widen slightly as he takes in the mass of fairy lights and gaudy decorations. He scans over the eclectic mix of objects including a large paper bumblebee and a giant stuffed polar bear.

He grimaces before looking back at Tracy, unconvinced, raising an eyebrow. Before he can question the appropriateness of her actions, Tracy beats him to it.

“Look, I know what you’re thinking!” she says in an accusatory tone, “but I just wanted to make it special for the pair of ya and this was all I could get my hands on at such short notice!”

Robert remains unconvinced. Tracy’s calmed down a bit and seems more serious.

“Today is a really big deal for him. Just because he’s passing over as well doesn’t mean it can’t still be special. He deserves it.”

Robert softens. After everything Aaron had been through in his life, he did deserve this moment.

“And they actually allowed you to do this?” Robert asks, with a small chuckle.

“Well I might have asked them to make some allowances, considering it’s a special occasion. I can be quite persuasive you know,” she winks.

“I don’t doubt it,” he replies before turning his attentions back to Aaron, stroking his hand softly.

The minister arrives shortly afterwards and introduces herself as Reverend Finch.

“Just call me Harriet though,” she says smiling and instantly putting Robert at ease. “Shall we get this show on the road then?”

_“… to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and I health, in good times and bad times, for richer and for poorer…”_

The ceremony is short and thankfully goes off without a hitch. It feels strange for Robert, with Aaron by his side totally unresponsive as he says his vows. It’s different in other ways too though. He thinks back to his wedding with Chrissie and the underlying certainty he had throughout the whole ceremony (well, actually throughout the whole relationship, come to think of it). He never once felt secure in what they had and he never really knew himself. But with Aaron he already felt more like himself than he had in years and it scared him a little bit. It all just felt right.

As Harriet pronounces them husband and husband, Tracy and Ellis fling handfuls of confetti over them enthusiastically. Dr Cavanagh smiles and claps from the corner of the room as Robert presses a kiss to Aaron’s forehead. He can’t help the grin that bursts onto his face and in that moment, he realises he hasn’t known happiness like this for a long, long time.

Robert’s happiness is short-lived however, as the moment he’s been dreading arrives. An official-looking member of staff he hasn’t seen before walks in holding a translucent tablet computer. He pulls up a consent form and asks Robert to read it fully before agreeing. Using his forefinger, Robert taps the consent box for ‘spouse’ and registers his consent.

The official then takes the tablet back and indicates to Dr Cavanagh, who nods in response as Tracy hooks Aaron up to the connector device. Once again, she places the small round discs to each of Aaron’s temples. Robert winces and turns away as another tube is inserted into Aaron’s arm and _ALL SYSTEMS SUSPENDED_ flashes across the screen of Dr Cavanagh’s tablet.

Dr Cavanagh then produces a syringe and looks to Robert for final approval. As he stands beside Aaron, stroking his hair, he nods sadly to the doctor and takes Aaron’s hand one final time.

An opaque, white fluid travels gradually along the snaking pipe and into Aaron’s right arm. As the sound of the ventilator starts to die out, the flashing LED on the connector goes into overdrive.

A few minutes pass before the noise of the machines fall silent and Dr Cavanagh removes the ventilator from Aaron’s neck. Robert’s eyes never once leave Aaron’s face throughout. Distraught, he lifts Aaron’s left hand and kisses it gently for the last time. Tears prick at his eyes, but he doesn’t let them fall. When he looks back to Aaron he notices a single tear rolling down his cheek and he swipes it away with his thumb, warm to his touch. It makes him think of the warm water lapping at the beach as the light on the connector slowly flickers out.

As the room falls silent, a visibly emotional Tracy draws a sheet over Aaron’s face.

Aaron opens his eyes slowly. He finds himself on a deserted beach in the middle of the day, white sand beneath his feet as he stares out onto the horizon. A large flock of seagulls swoop and dive overhead and he feels the warmth of the sun on his skin.

He feels different somehow, free just like the birds. He’s at peace.

He walks along the edge of the water, feet sinking into the wet sand and feels it run through his toes. He picks up a stone and skims it into the water. He watches as the ripples reverberate across the sea and smiles to himself. As he leans down to pick up another stone, he spots a small, curled fossil. He flops down onto the sand and runs his fingers across the grooves absentmindedly.

The breeze moves around him as he clenches and unclenches his toes in the wet sand. He sets the fossil down and looks up, watching the seas and the sky, finally content and smiles to himself. This is it now. No more coma, no more time limits, no more waiting for the inevitable midnight ending. Now he finally has the chance to live a life he’s always wanted. Forever. And he dares to hope that forever might include Robert too.

Robert arrives back at the care home and Ellis helps him out of the car again. He feels numb as he climbs the stairs to the entrance, thoughts of Aaron playing on his mind.

When he finally gets to his room, he’s drained both physically and mentally. He’s not sure he was prepared to watch as the life slowly drained from Aaron’s body. But it happened and now he has to make peace with it.

He lowers himself into his armchair and starts coughing, painfully and deeply. Ellis places a hand on his shoulder.

“Robert, are you sure you’re alright?” he asks, concern etched across his face. Robert’s breathing is shallow and rattles in his chest.

He nods before coughing again.

“I’m going to be right here anyway, just so I can keep an eye on you.”

With Ellis’ help, he attaches the discs to his temples once more and indicates for him to press the button as he closes his eyes.

As the sun begins to set, Aaron stands up and starts walking along the shore. He can’t believe it’s finally happened – he’s properly in San Junipero. No coma, no family to stop him doing what he wants. He can do what he wants, when he wants, with whoever he wants. He feels like a weight has been lifted as his new found sense of freedom starts to kick in. He smiles to himself as he thinks of Robert. Robert, who opened his eyes to new possibilities. Robert, who makes him feel alive for the first time. Robert, who married him when they barely knew each other just to make this possible.

He’s pulled from his thoughts by the sound of a car horn beeping behind him. It’s none other than Robert in his Porsche with a red ribbon tied at the front, a huge red heart-shaped balloon with ‘JUST MARRIED’ written on it and a dozen tin cans on string trailing behind. He sees the familiar, glowing smile on Robert’s face and his heart swells. He laughs as he runs towards the car as Robert emerges from the driver’s seat, wearing a fitted blue suit, white shirt and maroon tie.

“Well that’s not exactly what I imagined you wearing on our wedding day!” Robert says in mock outrage, running his eyes over Aaron’s traditional jumper and jeans combination.

It only takes a snap of his fingers before Aaron is in a matching suit.

“Better?” he asks with a cheeky grin on his face.

“Much,” says Robert, his eyes lighting up as he marvels at how the suit hugs Aaron’s body. “I told you that you wouldn’t look too bad in a suit,” as he shoots Aaron a wink before pulling him in by his tie for a deep kiss.

Smiling, they climb into the car and head off along the road into the sunset, tin cans bouncing and sparking off the road as they go.

Robert’s car sits parked in an isolated spot looking down over San Junipero below them. The lights of the town twinkle in the distance as they sit on the bonnet of the car, side by side, the cool metal beneath them. Aaron lies back on his elbows, knees bent while Robert leans back, hands splayed behind him and long legs dangling off the end. The silence between them is comfortable, and the only sounds for miles around are of crickets chirping and the waves lapping against the nearby shore.

Aaron looks up at the moon, shining down onto them, and then back out at the lights on the skyline.

“It looks so real,” he says, sitting up, voice full of wonder. He taps the bonnet.

“Feels real and all,” he smiles, leaning over to kiss Robert. He pulls back slightly, breathing him in and before kicking off his shoes and socks. He jumps off the car and starts walking in circles in the sand, barefoot, arms thrown out to the side.

Robert laughs, grinning at Aaron.

“What are you _doing_?”

“I love it. I just…” he tails off, looking up at the sky and closing his eyes, still soaking it all in. Aaron is practically giddy. Robert’s never seen someone look so enthralled.

“You’ve been here before,”

“Yeah, but now I _live_ here.” Aaron’s eyes light up. He turns to look at Robert, smiling. He hesitates, as if he’s debating whether to actually say what he’s thinking.

“Be with me,” he blurts out. “Be with me, properly, please,”

Robert looks down and Aaron thinks he might have said the wrong thing again.

“I’m with you now,” he says quietly, reaching out to stroke Aaron’s face with his right hand.

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

Robert tenses, every muscle in his body tightening. His hand drops and he slowly pulls away. But Aaron continues on regardless.

“Pass over. When you’re ready, when the time comes. Pass over.”

“Aaron…”

“Stay here, with me,” he pleads as he steps forward and takes Robert’s hands in his own. He’s practically begging now.

“Why can’t we just enjoy tonight?” he moves to cup Aaron’s face again. Conflicting emotions swirl in his head. He desperately wants to take Aaron up on it, have forever with him. But he _can’t._ He looks into Aaron’s eyes, so full of hope and it kills him.

“Rob, it’s ten to midnight. I’ve only got you for another 10 minutes and then it’s another week before I see you again.”

“You know the deal, Aaron. I’m just a visitor.”

“Yeah but for how long? A few months? A year?” Aaron says as his eyes start to fill with tears. “And then what?”

“Stop. We’re not discussing this,” Robert hisses. Aaron ignores him, his sadness turning to anger.

“Then you’ll be gone. Just _gone_. When you could have forever,” he pauses. “With me…” he adds, tailing off.

“Forever? How can you talk about forever? We barely know each other!”

Aaron is wounded. “Alright, maybe not forever,” he concedes. “But you could have however long you want and then you can remove yourself like _that,_ ” he snaps his fingers. “It’s not a trap. I mean look at it!” he gestures around wildly.

Robert hops off the bonnet and heads towards the driver’s door.

“I’m going.”

Aaron grabs his arms and turns him around so that they’re facing. He rests his hands on Robert’s biceps.

“It’s real. This is real. So’s this,” Aaron gives a small smile and gestures to the platinum wedding band on his finger.

“Come on Aaron, you know that was a gesture,”

“But you _married_ me.”

“Yeah, to help you pass over. You deserve to be really happy, Aaron, and I wanted to give you the chance to actually live your life! I was trying to be nice!”

“Well it’s not so nice of you to leave me.”

They stare at each other in silence momentarily before Robert breaks off. He tries to step to the side but Aaron won’t let him. He’s right up in Robert’s space, apologetically so.

“I’m sorry, don’t go. It’s just… I’ve got this chance now. _We’ve_ got this chance. And I want to share it. With you.”

Robert pulls away and heads towards the car, the mood souring between them.

“I said I made my choice.”

Aaron is crushed and it’s not long before anger starts to rise to the surface again.

“I don’t get it,” he snaps angrily. “What? You feel bad because your brother isn’t here? That doesn’t make sense!”

“Don’t. You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Robert says firmly.

“Because that was his choice Robert. _His!_ He chose to turn this down! I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal.”

Robert doesn’t respond, turning his back on Aaron and fishing in his pocket for the car keys. His hands are shaking so much he can’t grip them properly and has to try and compose himself.

“That was _his_ choice to make and he chose not to stay - you should be annoyed at him instead of beating yourself up over it!”

“Aaron, just drop it. You don’t understand.”

“So what if he didn’t want to be here without his wife? That shouldn’t mean you don’t get to stay here and be happy.”

Robert flinches.

“This is about something else though, innit? What is it? Is it your dad?”

“We’re not discussing this.”

“It is, isn’t it? Is this because he preferred Andy over you? So now you have this fucked up idea that you can’t be happy? Because that’s bollocks Robert, his memory doesn’t get to decide whether you can be happy or not!”

Robert anger simmers, and he’s almost at boiling point.

“You don’t know the first thing about _any_ of it,” He snarls.

“Then TELL ME!” Aaron bellows.

Robert can’t take it any longer and he snaps, letting it all pour out.

“BECAUSE IT’S MY FAULT!” he yells. “His wife Katie is _DEAD_ and it’s all my fault!”

Aaron is stunned into silence, momentarily frozen in horror. He can’t move, he can’t speak. He just feels numb as he tries to process this new information. Robert is visibly shaking. But now he’s started to unburden himself he can’t seem to stop.

“Andy hated me because I had an affair with Katie when we were younger. I only ever tried it with her to get back at him, but I used to bring it up all the time, just to wind him up. And then when I left the village, the only time I saw him in 10 years was my Dad’s funeral. But in that time, I made a fresh start; I worked hard, made a name for myself and met my wife, Chrissie. She and her family were rich, and we ended up buying the big house on the hill, back in the village. We took over the running of the village estates.” His eyes quickly dart over at Aaron, to confirm he’s still listening. He can’t bring himself to look Aaron in the face properly as he recounts this story.

“I was so bitter because Andy had built this life that my Dad would’ve been proud of and so I when came back with my big house, my rich wife and my fancy cars and I wanted to rub it in his face, prove that _I_ was successful too.” A pained expression crosses his face, resentment bubbling under the surface.

“Andy and Katie had just got remarried and they were looking to set up their own farm. I sold them this one we had, Wylie’s. I had them sign a ridiculous contract, making them pay a stupid amount in rent even though it was a dilapidated wreck of a building. But they wanted to build it from the ground up so they agreed and I let them.” Robert swallows thickly, turning a shade of grey now.

“When I sold it to them, I didn’t know there was anything wrong with it, I swear. I just thought it needed a bit of fixing up. I didn’t realise how bad it was.”

Aaron is distressed at how agitated Robert is becoming.

“I was scheduled to have a surveyor come and check it out before they got the keys, but Katie insisted she went up to see before the sale went through. She didn’t trust me and she wouldn’t drop it so I agreed. She went up there, on her own and fell through the floor boards, snapped her neck and died instantly.”

“Oh my god.” Aaron whispers, the knot in his stomach still present, but slightly less tight.

“When she didn’t come home or answer his calls, I went with him to see if she was there.” He’s crying now, painful memories fresh in his mind. “I had to watch him find her body. I watched him cradle her cold, dead body as he screamed out in pain. And there was nothing I could do to make it better.” He looks off into the distance as he continues. “I blamed myself. I watched him suffer every day for the next 40 years and I tried to pick up the pieces. I did everything I could to make it better but he never got over it, not until the day he died.”

Aaron lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“If I could go back and change things I would. I should never have let them buy it in the first place. It’s cursed. Even when we sold it on to another tenant, he ended up dead as well. Fell off a bridge.” He tails off, again, trying to compose himself.

“So do you get it now, Aaron? Why I can’t stay? I can’t live here forever knowing that I’m the reason Andy can’t have the same.”

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know - ”

“Yeah you didn’t think to.” Robert bites back. “You’ve been so wrapped up in how _amazing_ this stupid place is that you didn’t think to ask. You know, before Andy died, when they offered him this, to pass over and spend eternity in this fucking graveyard you love so much, do you know what he said?”

Aaron doesn’t know how to respond. Robert continues.

“He said, ‘How can I Rob? How can I when _she_ missed out?’ And so he went. Just like that.”

Silence falls between them again.

“And I wish, _I wish_ I could believe that he’s with her now, that they’re together. But I don’t. I believe that they’re nowhere. They’re gone. They could’ve had this but because of me they can’t. And I’ve had to live with that,” he exhales shakily, his emotional outburst starting to take its toll.

“I’ve lived with the consequences for over 40 years now. I sat with him, I cried with him, I did everything I possibly could to help him because of guilt and I can’t do that forever. I just can’t. So when I’m done, I am truly done. I don’t want to have to keep reliving it.”

“But Robert, it’s not your fault. You can’t blame yourself for that. You weren’t to know.” Aaron says gently. “How could you have known that was going to happen? She was the one that chose to go up there, you didn’t force her. What happened was a freak accident and you are not responsible, you have to know that.”

Aaron tries to embrace him but Robert physically pushes him away.

“Robert, that’s not on you.” Aaron says, pleading with him.

“No, don’t. Don’t try and talk me round. Don’t act like you know me. I pitied you and that’s the truth. I _pitied_ you. And now you’re trying to sell ‘forever’ to me and how amazing it could be. Well don’t!”

Aaron moves closer.

“I’m sorry…”

“Do you really want to spend forever in a place where _nothing_ matters? Do you want to end up like Donna and all of those freaks at the Quagmire, trying anything to feel something? You go ahead but I don’t. I’m gone.”

And with that he pushes Aaron aside and jumps in the car. He jams the keys into the ignition and revs the engine. Aaron places his hands on the bonnet.

“Robert, please, I’m sorry.”

But it’s too late and Robert drives off into the night at great speed, engine roaring, leaving Aaron completely alone once more.

Crying, Robert roars along the motorway at full throttle. His breathing is still shaky, his senses still on high alert after his argument with Aaron. He knew the full picture now, saw the real him and Robert could see the disgust in his face. But it came as a relief, not having to lie anymore about why he didn’t want to stay here permanently. The guilt had eaten him alive for years and a part of him felt as though a weight had been lifted.

As he wipes the tears from his eye, he glances at the clock on the dashboard. It’s 11:58. Two minutes left. He slams down on the accelerator and it’s almost as if he’s 19 again, speeding after Andy and Max King along that narrow country road. He feels sick with it, another death which weighed heavily on his conscience.

He’s flying at full speed now, the _Just Married_ cans sparking furiously against the tarmac. He swerves around a corner, narrowly avoiding a set of headlights. It doesn’t deter him though and he slams his foot even harder on the accelerator.

Up ahead, a section of road gives way to a drop and he sees a sign which says _ROAD AHEAD CLOSED_. Before the drop is a set of concrete bollards. Robert stares straight ahead at them and aims the car. He powers forward, slamming the Porsche right into the bollards, the unmistakeable crunching sound of metal wrapping around concrete.

Glass fragments spray around Robert as he flies through the windscreen like a limp rag doll fired from a canon. He skids across the tarmac, rolling and bouncing as he goes, before coming to a halt in the centre of the road, a broken heap of flesh and bones.

He lies still for a moment. All is silent except for the sound of his breath rattling in his chest and the sound of the engine still running.

Robert coughs before rolling gingerly onto his side and sitting up. He looks down at himself. He’s covered in dust and there’s a massive rip in his suit jacket at the left shoulder seam but other than that, he’s physically unharmed. He peers up at the night sky, still feeling a complicated mix of emotions. He looks at the moon shining down as Aaron’s words ring in his ear – _It’s not your fault, how could you have known? That’s not on you_. Maybe, just maybe if he replays it enough he’ll start to actually believe it.

Because Aaron might just have a point.

He’s suddenly pulled from his thoughts when out of nowhere, a hand reaches down to help him up. He notices the wedding ring glinting in the moonlight. It’s Aaron. He looks at the outstretched hand and then up at his face. Aaron smiles down at him encouragingly, wordlessly urging him to take his hand.

The clock on the dash turns to midnight, and Aaron stands alone in the middle of the road, hand still outstretched. Just like that, Robert is gone in an instant.

Robert jolts forward in his chair, gasping for air. It takes him a moment to acclimatise, vivid flashes of the crash which occurred moments prior at the forefront of his mind. He takes a few deep breaths and allows his heart rate to return to normal, gradually becoming aware of his surroundings again. He’s back in the care home, in his room, in his favourite tartan armchair. He reaches for the connector nodules on his temples and gently peels them off once his hands have stopped shaking.

He glances across the room and notices Ellis in the corner of the room, in a different armchair with an e-book on his lap. _So much for keeping an eye on me_ , Robert thinks to himself.

Robert rubs his eyes in a further attempt to ground himself in reality. Aaron’s words continue to ring in his head, the words fully resonating with him. He leans his head back against his chair and sighs.

Meanwhile a dejected Aaron walks aimlessly along the middle of the road, still in his wedding suit. He doesn’t take much notice though, as he’s still preoccupied by thoughts of Robert, his harsh words still ringing in his ears.

Robert wakes the following morning, thoughts of Aaron still whirring through his mind. He wishes things had ended differently between him last night. If they’d had just 5 more minutes then Robert could probably have salvaged it, apologised, and left things in a better place. Instead, he’d sabotaged himself again, leaving their relationship in tatters. He doesn’t know if he can fix this.

As he sits down to read the latest news stories, in an attempt to distract himself, his screen is interrupted by a notification. _Video Call Request: Bernice_ , her pink avatar flashing in mid-air in front of him. He rolls his eyes and steadies himself before accepting. It’s far too early in the day for this. The suspended screen expands as Bernice’s face appears. She peers at him through her glasses, coiffed updo perfectly set in place. He knows what’s coming.

“So! I hear congratulations are in order! When exactly were you going to tell us you’d got married again? Without me!” she shrieks, diving straight in. Subtlety has never been Bernice’s strong suit, and it had only gotten worse in her old age. Now at nearly 92, Robert is convinced she’s going to outlive them all.

“Good morning to you too, Bernice. How are things?”

“Don’t you try and change the subject! I have a bone to pick with you, as does your sister! She’s over visiting me. She’s just in the kitchen, won’t be a moment.” She turns to look over her left shoulder before shouting “Vicky! I’ve got Robert on the phone!”

Robert hears the clattering of pots and pans in the distance, Vic clearly in the middle of cooking something. He takes a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose, preparing himself for the double onslaught. Both Bernice _and_ Vic? A truly terrifying prospect. He’s getting too old for this.

He smiles as a flustered Vic scurries onto the screen, her cheeks flushed pink.

“Bernice, you could’ve given me a bit more notice! I was just putting dinner on!”

Robert watches her fondly. He still can’t believe his baby sister is all grown up, practically an old woman herself now. To him she’ll always be his kid sister but as she gets older, he’s struck by how similar she is to their Mum. Especially when she’s about to scold him…

“What exactly possessed you to get married again without telling us, Rob?” she says, firing him a stern look.

“Hi Vic, I’m fine by the way, thanks for asking,” he replies sarcastically.

“No, don’t act the fool, Rob, it’s me and Bernice you’re speaking to now.”

“Funnily enough Vic, I did know that. I can actually see you both.”

Vic glares at him but Robert says nothing.

“Well come on then, we don’t have all day Robert!” Bernice exclaims.

He huffs in response. “How did you even find out?”

“You think the Home doesn’t tell us these things? You got _married_ Robert, of course they were going to tell us!” Vic says, almost incredulous.

He looks down, saying nothing.

“Well? Who is she? Or he?” asks Bernice.

His eyes flick up at this. He takes a breath, ready to respond but it catches in his throat and before he knows it, he’s spluttering, cough hacking up phlegm.

“God, you sound terrible,” he looks at Vic, concern etched over her face.

“Well, in case you hadn’t realised, I am dying, Vic.” Her face drops and he curses himself for putting it so bluntly. “Sorry, didn’t mean it to come out like that.”

“It’s okay,” she sniffles. 

He decides to change the topic of conversation.

“To answer your earlier question Bernice, it’s a he,” he swallows thickly, anticipating some kind of adverse reaction but neither bat an eyelid. He continues. “His name is Aaron and it’s not what you think. I married him so that he could pass over and be uploaded permanently to San Junipero. We met there and we… got on.” He’s unaware as a smile unfurls across his face, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Bernice and Victoria. “So when he told me that his family wouldn’t consent to it, I offered to help him out. As a friend.” He adds quickly. “He passed over yesterday and that’s that.”

“And that’s all there is to it?” Vic asks, sceptically.

“Yep, that’s all,” he replies, trying not to let his emotions from yesterday spill over. He doesn’t want to talk about it.

“Robert…” they both say in unison.

“What?”

“There’s something you’re not telling us. Spill,” says Bernice, matter-of-factly.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He feels anxious now, ready to buckle under the scrutiny of his sisters.

“Yes you do,” says Bernice.

“Do you love him?” asks Victoria. Robert is taken aback.

“Love? I barely know the guy!” he’s on the defensive now and he wants the ground to swallow him up.

“But something has happened between you?” she probes. Robert remains silent.

“Well you must feel something for him, otherwise you wouldn’t have married him. I don’t believe that you would do that just out of the goodness of your heart.”

“Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence, Vic.”

“You know what I mean! All I’m saying is you must care about him if you’ve gone as far as marrying him, even if it is to help him out.”

“Just drop it.”

“I’m right, aren’t I?”

Robert screws his eyes shut. He can still feel their gazes burning through the screen.

“Yes. No. I don’t know,” he whispers quietly. “He’s asked me to pass over, to stay with him. But we had a massive argument about it last night. I told him that I can’t.”

“But why not?” Vic asks.

“You know why. Andy.”

Vic sighs and shares a knowing look with Bernice.

“Rob, we’ve been over this a thousand times. You are not to blame for what happened to Katie. You have to believe that.”

“How can you say that? I sold them the place!” he asks, horrified.

“But it was structurally unsound! That’s what they said at the Inquest. You weren’t to know that at the time,” says Bernice.

“If I’d have just got that surveyor out to check it earlier then she wouldn’t have died, and Andy wouldn’t have been heartbroken for the rest of his life! It’s my fault.”

Robert is getting worked up again, visibly distressed.

Vic smiles at him sadly.

“I know how much you’ve been struggling since Andy… you know. I mean, it was only 6 months ago last week,” she pauses to wipe her eyes. “But Andy was at peace with it when he died. He forgave you years ago, Robert, you have to believe that.”

“But I don’t Vic, how can I? I still feel the weight of that guilt every single day and I hate myself for it.”

“Oh Robert,” she says through tears. “We both know how rubbish Andy was at talking about how he felt. But he never blamed you for Katie dying, not really. He knew that it was just an accident – she was on her own when it happened.” She sobs softly and, in this moment, Robert would give anything to be able to reach out and hug her.

Bernice obliges though, wrapping her arm around Vic and handing her a tissue. She continues on Vic’s behalf.

“The only thing he ever blamed you for was the affair, and eventually he forgave you for that too, didn’t he? Because him and Katie, they got their happy ending, however short it was before fate intervened. You can’t possibly blame yourself for that.”

“That’s what Aaron said, that I can’t blame myself, but I do. I just wish things had been different,” Robert says, exasperated.

“Well Aaron is right!” Bernice replies brusquely. “That situation was out of your control. Even if the surveyor had been sooner, we all knew that Wylie’s was in a bad state. Katie took a risk that day and it cost her dearly. But you did everything you could for Andy after that: you looked after him for all those years and we both know he was grateful for everything you did. Please believe that.”

Vic nods in agreement. All three of them are crying now and Bernice dabs at her eyes.

“Is this the only reason you don’t want to pass over to San Junipero permanently? Because of Andy?” Vic asks, able to speak again. Robert nods silently.

“Rob, Andy wouldn’t want that for you! He wanted you to be happy, and to live your life!” she says desperately. He looks at her and can see the sincerity and genuine warmth in her eyes. His sister is the most selfless person he knows. “We all just want you to be happy and if Aaron is what makes you happy then you should go for it.”

Bernice nods in agreement, as Robert lets their words sink in. Maybe Vic and Bernice were right…

“You’ve never really talked about anyone you’ve met in that place before. You must really like him,” says Vic, pulling him from his thoughts and clearly fishing for more information. As ever, Bernice is less subtle in her approach.

“Yes, come on! What’s he like? We haven’t seen you this smitten in years!”

Robert smiles as he tries to find the words to describe Aaron. Wonderful, resilient Aaron. The one that manages to be the kindest and most understanding person despite the shitty hand life had dealt him. Aaron, who searched through different times to find him again and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Aaron, who listened to him and still wanted him after everything he said last night. Aaron. His _husband_.

In the end, he’s at a loss for words to properly do Aaron justice.

“I’ve… never met anyone like him before… He’s gobby and fiery when you first meet him, but underneath, when you really get to know him, he’s the most caring person. Gorgeous too.” He grins as Vic rolls her eyes.

“But he listens to me. He understands me. He makes me… happy,” he gushes, realisation dawning on him.

“ _Then be with him_ ” Bernice and Victoria say in unison, smiling.

It takes some convincing but ultimately Ellis agrees to hook him up to the system for a bit more ‘unauthorised’ time. All it takes is some pressure in the form of some light blackmail.

“You do this for me, and I _don’t_ tell your boss that you told my sisters that I got married, without my permission. Do we have a deal?”

Ellis’ mouth gapes open. He nods silently in agreement before attaching the nodules once more.

“Just like last time, you don’t have long – if they find out about this, I’m done for-”

“Yeah, yeah,” Robert cuts him off. “If anyone finds out, I’ll tell them I forced you into it. They can’t punish a dying man. Now can we hurry this along please?”

“Ok mate. 3… 2… 1…”

In the daytime San Junipero is eerily quiet in comparison, completely different to the usual hustle and bustle of Saturday nights. Robert frantically walks down Barker Street, wondering where on earth Aaron could be. He hadn’t thought this far ahead and hopes he’d picked the right timeline - 1987. He wracks his brains: _the beach? The house? Somewhere else?_ As he passes Tucker’s, it dawns on him. He hopes he’s right and he heads in the entrance.

Inside, the bar looks different during the day, still dimly lit by the neon lamps but without the crowded dancefloor and music, it’s a far sadder state of affairs. Sure enough, as if by magic, Aaron is sat in the booth they first met, nursing a pint. Robert feels his heart beating faster at the sight of him sat there. He sits forlornly, tracing the condensation on the side of the glass, his wedding ring glinting, still firmly on his finger. Robert smiles and braces himself before approaching from behind.

“Sorry to bother you, but have you seen my husband? Dead grumpy but he doesn’t look too bad in a suit.” He wishes he could rewind time as soon as the words are out of his mouth, realising that humour may not be the best approach to take.

Aaron practically jumps out of his skin and he looks up at Robert, his face a mixture of elation and joy on his face before he quickly remembers, and his expression quickly changes. He scowls before turning back to his pint.

“What do you want Robert? Why are you even here?” he asks, stony-faced.

“I needed to see you. I don’t have long.”

“Makes a change.” Aaron rolls his eyes, still refusing to look in Robert’s direction.

“I’m sorry about last night. For snapping and taking it out on you. It wasn’t fair.” Aaron gives a non-committal shrug as Robert pauses. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said. You were right, I can’t keeping blaming myself for what happened to Katie. I see that now.”

“And? What’s that got to do with me?” Aaron’s still not giving him an inch. Robert sits himself down opposite.

“Because you’re the one who helped convince me! Meeting you changed everything. You’ve made me see things differently. Since Andy died, I’ve not been seeing things straight, not coping properly. I’ve spent so long punishing myself, shutting people out because I felt… guilty but I don’t want to do that. Not any more.”

Aaron is starting to thaw but he refuses to show it. He continues with the silent treatment.

“Before I met you, I refused to let anyone in, to show them the ‘real’ me. But you saw through all of that and loved me regardless.” Aaron’s eyes dart up at the mention of love.

“After last night, I spoke to my sisters about everything. They said that you were right, that I can’t blame myself and that Andy would want me to be happy. And now I feel like I’ve finally found a chance at being happy…” Robert reaches out, taking Aaron’s hand in his own. “With you.”

Aaron is rendered speechless.

“Well go on, say something.” Robert urges, fearing he’s said too much, or not enough. He finally looks at Robert, his eyes soft and full of concern.

“Do you really mean all that? Or are you just saying it? Because I don’t want you to say it if you don’t mean it. I don’t want you to just say it out of pity.”

Robert squeezes his hand reassuringly.

“I didn’t mean that last night. I don’t pity you. I could never pity you. I was just trying to push you away.” Aaron looks at him, hanging on his every word.

“Aaron… the way I feel about you… I’ve never felt that before. With anyone.” Tears glisten in Aaron’s eyes. “So I want to try, you and me. If you still want me.” Aaron smiles.

“Of course I still want you, you idiot! Come here” he leans across the table for a kiss. Elated, Robert responds, their lips brushing against each other, Aaron’s beard scratching at his skin. He could keep kissing Aaron all day but time is slipping away from them rapidly.

Robert pulls back slightly and breathes Aaron in, savouring every second before he goes back to reality.

“I have to go, but I’ll be back soon, I promise you.”

“I know.” Aaron gives him a final peck before it all cuts to black.

Robert sits outside on the front porch, watching the sun set. He thinks of Aaron and the life they’re going to live together. He’s at peace. Ellis is busying himself by tidying the table beside him.

“Okay then.”

“You alright?” Ellis asks, slightly concerned by his random outburst. Robert just looks at him for a moment. “Robert?”

“I said ‘okay then’” he replies, serenely. Ellis stares, puzzled.

“All things, considered, I guess I’m ready.”

Ellis grows more confused by the second. “For what?”

“For the rest of it.” Robert smiles.

Victoria cried when he told her. He held her in his arms and explained that he wasn’t getting any better and the cancer was eating away at him. He told her about Aaron and how much she would adore him, how his husband would look after him for her. He told her she could visit them any time she liked and they would welcome her with open arms. She cried some more and she said she understood.

Bernice gave him a kiss on the cheek and squeezed his hand, for once, at a loss for words.

That’s how he ends up here, in his bed, Bernice, Victoria, Ellis and various health professionals surrounding him. They go through all the final checks. He gives Victoria and Bernice a reassuring smile and mouths _I love you_ as the doctor gives a thumbs up. Victoria holds his hand in a vice like grip, sobbing as he closes his eyes and the clear liquid travels along the tube and into his forearm. The lights on the nodules cut to black.

Victoria, Bernice and Ellis join other mourners graveside, as Robert’s coffin is lowered gently into the Sugden family plot. Victoria and Bernice weep as the rain pelts down on them.

_HERE LIES_

_JOHN JACOB SUGDEN aged 62 years_

_KATHERINE SUGDEN aged 29 years_

_ANDREW SUGDEN aged 72 years_

_ROBERT JACOB SUGDEN aged 73 years_

At TCKR systems, deep in the heart of Silicon Valley, a robot travels past server after server. Each is labelled _San Junipero_ and an assigned number. It passes along before stopping at _San Junipero 5._ As it moves closer, the LED lights start to flicker and twitch. At row 10, the robot slots a LED into 2018. It starts blinking wildly as it joins another white dot.

They sit entwined on the front porch, staring out at the ocean and the expanse of their new world together right in front of them. Aaron is nestled in the space between Robert’s legs, his back flush with Robert’s chest. Robert has his chin comfortably hooked over Aaron’s right shoulder; his hands wrapped around his waist. Aaron runs his hands absentmindedly up and down Robert’s forearms as they listen to the sound of the waves and each other’s soft breathing. They’re happy. Content.

Robert nuzzles Aaron’s cheek with his nose.

“I can hear you thinking. Penny for them?”

Aaron ponders for a moment, searching for the right words.

“I know they call it progress, but all this, being here in a place that feels so real, it’s weird. Kind of messed up.”

Robert smiles fondly.

“Messed up,” he agrees. “A bit. I’ll take that. If you’re here and it’s forever.”

“Forever?” It’s Aaron’s turns to smile now. That’s the first time Robert’s acknowledged it’s forever.

He squeezes Aaron even tighter and snuggles in closer.

“Forever.”

**Author's Note:**

> Part of the Emmerdale Big Bang Round 3. Artwork by the amazing @memorieswarm on Tumblr, who I could not have done this without.
> 
> Thanks for reading (if you made it this far!)  
> It's been a labour of love and my first ever foray into fic writing so I hope you enjoyed it!


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